First of all, thank you to any and all of you who have been following the "Guidelines to a Stay Homer's Sanity" series and/or Vacuuming in Pearls! As a shameless plug: please feel free to like on Facebook, follow by email, and especially join as a member and comment on any post you've seen so far! (Makes me feel like I'm not talking to an empty room ;) )
That being said, it's time to delve into the reason why I came up with my 10 Guidelines to begin with. Stay-at-home parents (moms or dads) are particularly susceptible to battles with depression and anxiety (what I call the "Domestic Dumps"). People generally don't talk about it, or if they do, it's brushed off as whining from someone who is living the dream by "not having to work for a living."
Stay-homers are often characterized as "lazy," "moochers," "breeders with no greater ambition in life," and even "kept women." For anyone who thinks we must, as a society, be more enlightened than this: most of these were pulled from comments on a recent article on Huffington Post. Even well meaning working parents can let slip "how much easier" their spouse has it by being at home and keeping the house and raising the children. ("You're so lucky! You get to stay home and play with them all day!")
Add isolation from peers (no co-workers as a stay home parent), under appreciation (being a good home-maker is rarely met with daily praise at having accomplished cooking meals, cleaning the house and keeping children safe, sound and happy, it's simply expected), and being beyond over worked (imagine being no less than on-call 24/7!) to a projection of self-worth that is constantly being bombarded by societal and internal criticism and BOOM! Hello to a caustic mix that can hardly help causing sadness, loneliness and feelings of overwhelming worthlessness!
These reasons are all part of why I set forth to lay down my ground rules, to try and keep the Domestic Dumps at bay! Having a schedule, getting up and dressed for the day, and keeping active (Rules #1, #2, and #7) are all designed to give a purpose and sense of accomplishment to each day, something that all people, regardless of status, crave and require.
Keeping a tidy (if not always spotless) home, avoiding the television, and getting out of the house (Rules #3, #4, and #8) are about creating a positive environment, where you can feel motivated and worthwhile, both in and out of the home. You should feel good about where you spend your time!
Making time for your spouse (Rule #6) sounds like yet another duty to add to the already enormous list, but it's actually to make sure to reconnect with your partner. It should be a reminder that you are not in this alone as well as a time to genuinely enjoy yourself and who you've chosen to share this life with.
Taking breaks on the weekends, time for yourself and simply being yourself (Rules #5, #9, and #10) are exactly what they appear to be! Being a homemaker is too often referred to as "not real work" and so time off from the standard duties is seen as unnecessary and something to be resented. Probably one of the most important deterrents to all the negative feelings that accompany the Domestic Dumps is breaking through those stereotypes and misconceptions and accepting that it is okay to relax, have breaks, and reconnect with what makes you, you.
Like the Hokey-Pokey you "put it all together" and at the very least, you have a solid immunization against the Domestic Dump syndrome! Go forth and be happy, my friends!
No comments:
Post a Comment